billboard-top
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But we promise to laugh if you tell one of these 100 funny and corny dad jokes for kids!" ] ] 2 => array:2 [ "tag" => "link" "attributes" => array:2 [ "rel" => "canonical" "href" => "https://www.mpdevx.com/kids/best-dad-jokes-for-kids-corny-dad-jokes" ] ] 3 => array:2 [ "tag" => "meta" "attributes" => array:2 [ "property" => "og:description" "content" => "Eyes will roll and faces will cringe at these so-bad-they're-funny dad jokes." ] ] ] "path" => array:1 [ 0 => array:3 [ "alias" => "/kids/best-dad-jokes-for-kids-corny-dad-jokes" "pid" => "510579" "langcode" => "und" ] ] "menu_link" => [] "body" => array:1 [ 0 => array:3 [ "value" => """ <p>The best dad jokes for kids are sometimes the silliest or most cliché jokes around. The cringier the better, right?</p>\r\n \r\n <p>But we’re showing up for you, Dad. We've rounded up 100 of our favorite one-liners, puns, corny dad jokes, and even bad dad jokes that are sure to make <em>someone</em> in the family chuckle this Father's Day and all year long. <em>Maybe</em>.</p>\r\n \r\n <p>Read on for 100 of the best dad jokes for kids, from animal and food jokes to sports and pop culture gags. Find even more laughs—including our list of <a href="https://mommypoppins.com/kids/best-jokes-for-kids-knock-knock-jokes-family">75 jokes for kids that will keep the whole family in </a><a href="https://mommypoppins.com/kids/best-jokes-for-kids-knock-knock-jokes-family">giggles</a>—in our <a href="https://mommypoppins.com/family/weework-craft-projects-kids-easy-indoor-activities">Boredom Busters for Kids guide</a>.</p>\r\n <!--break-->\r\n \r\n <h2>Best Dad Jokes for Kids</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>1. What did the drummer call his twin daughters?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Anna One. Anna Two.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>2. Two guys walked into a bar.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>The third guy ducked.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>3. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Aye Matey. (I'm 80.)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>4. When does a joke become a dad joke?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>When it becomes apparent.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>5. How do you throw a party on Mars?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>You planet.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>6. Do you have holes in your underwear?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>No...?</p>\r\n \r\n <p>Then how do you put your legs through?</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>7. When is it time to go to the dentist?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Tooth hurty (2:30)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>8. Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They both got 6 months...</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>9. Time flies like an arrow.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Fruit flies like a banana.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>10. What do clouds wear?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Thunderwear</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>11. I don’t trust those trees.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They seem kind of shady.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>12. What has more letters than the alphabet?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>The post office!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>13. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>I’ll let you know…</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>14. Do you want a box for your leftovers?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>No, but I’ll wrestle you for them.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>15. How do you make a robot angry?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Keep pushing its buttons</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>16. How did the piano get locked out?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>It lost its keys.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>17. Why is the nose sad?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>It's always getting picked on.</p>\r\n \r\n <h2>Corny Dad Jokes That Make You Groan</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>18. Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Forget it. It’s way over your head.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>19. I've decided to sell my Roomba.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>It was just collecting dust anyway.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>20. Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They just want to help you become a groan-up.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>21. I used to play piano by ear.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Now I use my hands.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>22. It’s raining cats and dogs.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>So be careful not to step in a poodle.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>23. What’s brown and sticky?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A stick</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>24. What’s red and smells like blue paint?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Red paint</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>25. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>It's impossible to put down!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>26. The LEGO shop reopens tomorrow, but I recommend avoiding it for the time being.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>People will be lined up for blocks.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>27. I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn’t like it.</h3>\r\n \r\n <h3>28. Dad, can you put my shoes on?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>No, I don't think they'll fit me.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>29. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.</h3>\r\n \r\n <h3>30. I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.</h3>\r\n \r\n <h3>31. What’s harder to catch the faster you run?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Your breath</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>32. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A stick!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>33. What are the world’s smartest animals?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Fish, because they stay in schools</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>34. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Loafers</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>35. What did the tree say when spring finally arrived?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>What a re-leaf.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>36. What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Millionaire</p>\r\n \r\n <p><strong>RELATED: </strong><a href="https://mommypoppins.com/kids/funny-knock-knock-jokes-for-kids">25 Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids with Growing Funny Bones</a></p>\r\n \r\n <p><img alt="Best Dad Jokes for Kids " class="image-image620x420" src="https://mommyp-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/styles/image620x420/s3/dad-jokes-2-canva-.png?itok=HIv_dOFW" style="height:420px; width:620px" /><br />\r\n <em>Give Dad an extra laugh or two!</em></p>\r\n \r\n <h2>Best Dad Jokes About Food</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>37. Why did the tomato blush?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because it saw the salad dressing</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>38. Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>To see a butterfly</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>39. What do you call a fake noodle?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>An impasta! (imposter)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>40. What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Nacho cheese!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>41. Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>The lettuce was "ahead," but the tomato was trying to "catch up."</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>42. Why shouldn't you tell a taco a secret?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They tend to spill the beans!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>43. What do you call a sad strawberry?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A blue-berry</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>44. What kind of car does an egg drive?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A yolkswagen</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>45. What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Where’s the popcorn?</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>46. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>“Yellow!”</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>47. Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list.</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Now I can’t read it.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>48. Why do melons have weddings?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because they cantaloupe (can't elope)</p>\r\n \r\n <h2>Best Dad Jokes About Animals</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>49. What do you call an alligator in a vest?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>An investigator!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>50. What do you call a fly without wings?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A walk</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>51. What do bees chew?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Bumble gum</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>52. Why does the crab never share?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because it's shellfish (selfish)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>53. What do you call a deer with no eyes?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>No idea! (no-eye-deer)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>54. What do you call a pair of monkeys who share an Amazon account?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Prime-mates</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>55. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because they are so good at it</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>56. What do you call a bear with no teeth?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A gummy bear</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>57. How do you make an octopus laugh?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>With ten-tickles.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>58. What do mice use to floss their teeth?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>String cheese</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>59. Why are cats good at video games?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because they have nine lives</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>60. Where do cows go for entertainment?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>The moooooooooovies</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>61. What does a panda ghost like to eat?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Bam-BOO!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>62. What do you call a pig that does karate?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A pork chop</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>63. Why couldn't the pony sing?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because she was a little horse (hoarse)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>64. What did the frog order at McDonald's?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>French flies and Diet Croak</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>65. What's black and white and red all over?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>An embarrassed zebra</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>66. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>67. Why did the whale blush?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>It saw the ocean’s bottom.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>68. What do you call a cow after an earthquake?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A milkshake</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>69. Why type of dog tells time best?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A watchdog</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>70. What do you call a baby monkey?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A chimp off the old block</p>\r\n \r\n <p><strong>RELATED:</strong> <a href="https://mommypoppins.com/anywhere-kids/fun-riddles-for-kids">25 Fun Riddles for Kids and Families</a></p>\r\n \r\n <p><img alt="Best Dad Jokes for Kids " class="image-image620x420" src="https://static.mommypoppins.com/styles/image620x420/s3/dad-jokes-3-canva.png?itok=2KwjdyNh" style="height:420px; width:620px" /><br />\r\n <em>Dads love princess jokes! </em></p>\r\n \r\n <h2>Best Dad Jokes About Pop Culture</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>71. How does Princess Peach reach things on a high shelf?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>She uses a Toad-stool.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>72. Why did Darth Vader turn off one light?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>He prefers it on the dark side.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>73. How does Taylor Swift dry her umbrella?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>She shakes it off, shakes it off.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>74. Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because she runs away from the ball.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>75. Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>He lost his Hedwig.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>76. Why shouldn't Elsa have a balloon?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because she would let it go.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>77. Why are celebrities so cool?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They have many fans.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>78. How do you make Lady Gaga mad?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Poke her face</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>79. Is BB hungry?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>No, BB-8. (BB ate.)</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>80. Why is Peter Pan always flying?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because he Neverlands!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>81. Why is Yoda such a good gardener?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>He has green thumbs.</p>\r\n \r\n <h2>Best Dad Jokes About School</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>82. What's a pirate's favorite subject in school?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Arrrrrrrrrrt.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>83. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Totally shocked</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>84. Why did the dog do so well in school?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because he was the teacher’s pet!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>85. Why did the M&M go to school?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because it wanted to be a Smartie!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>86. Why is the math book sad?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>It has a lot of problems.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>87. Why does the teacher wear sunglasses?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because her students are so bright.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>88. Why shouldn't you use a broken pencil?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because it's pointless</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>89. Why did the boy throw a clock out the window at school?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>To see time fly</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>90. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They woke him up.</p>\r\n \r\n <h2>Best Dad Jokes About Sports</h2>\r\n \r\n <h3>91. In baseball, does it take longer to run from 1st to 2nd base or from 2nd to 3rd base?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>2nd to 3 base, because there’s a shortstop in between.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>92. I was wondering why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger...</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>...then it hit me.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>93. Where do quarterbacks go to dance?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Footballs</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>94. Why did the coach yell at the vending machine?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>He wanted his quarter back.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>95. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>In case they get a hole in one!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>96. Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the game?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>A: Because he traveled a lot</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>97. Where do sports teams go to buy new uniforms?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>New Jersey</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>98. Why are basketball players messy eaters?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>Because they are always dribbling!</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>99. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>They needed a little team spirit.</p>\r\n \r\n <h3>100. Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?</h3>\r\n \r\n <p>The batter!</p>\r\n """ "summary" => "" "format" => "full_html" ] ] "comment_node_blog" => array:1 [ 0 => array:6 [ "status" => "1" "cid" => "0" "last_comment_timestamp" => "1718123964" "last_comment_name" => null "last_comment_uid" => "62347" "comment_count" => "0" ] ] "field_alternate_title" => array:1 [ 0 => array:1 [ "value" => "Top 100 Dad Jokes for Kids" ] ] "field_attached_images" => array:4 [ 0 => array:7 [ "target_id" => "208194" "alt" => "" "title" => "" "width" => "960" "height" => "640" "entity" => array:18 [ "fid" => array:1 [ 0 => array:1 [ "value" => "208194" ] ] "uuid" => array:1 [ 0 => array:1 [ "value" => "34087b4f-f769-4c2f-aabf-cf9f8c1c1763" ] ] "langcode" => array:1 [ 0 => array:1 [ "value" => "en" ] ] "type" => array:1 [ 0 => array:3 [ "target_id" => "image" "message" => "Recursion detected." 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